A collection of popular stories and poems using homophones.

How Can One Learn Anguish?

1.  Read everything in this text aloud, and preferably in a group.  Make a game of it. You'll find it easier to understand Anguish when you hear it than when you see it.  If you have trouble, listen to someone else read it to you, preferably someone who doesn't quite know what he's reading.  This often gives the best effect.  Watch what happens when the listeners understand better than the reader.

2.  Don't try to read too fast and be sure to give all words their usual English pronunciation, regardless of the new meaning the word has acquired.  An accurate pronunciation and good intonation are most effective.

3.  Don't worry if you seem to have suddenly acquired a slight accent; your friends will tell you that this is most attractive.

    The first item in this collection is a story familiar to all readers - LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD.  Or, as you can probably say now in Anguish, LADLE RAT ROTTEN HUT.

    Heresy ladle furry starry toiling udder warts - warts welcher altar girdle deferent firmer once inner regional virgin.  This sentence means:  "Here is a little fairy story told in other words - words which are altogether different from the ones in the original version."

ORIOLE RATTY?  DEN LESS GAT STUTTERED!

 Society for the Promotion of the Anguish Languish